The Girl that I Used to Be, and The Woman I Have Become

The girl that I used to be didn’t care about anything, truly not much at all.

A soulless and broken being who was just looking to not feel pain.

Such angst and sorrow, craving to feel anything different than the everyday struggle.

A girl who didn’t think she’d live long enough to see the age of 17. Stuck in her pain, stuck in her anger. Everyday was a dance with the devil, and she loved every second of it.

She craved happiness, but didn’t think she deserved it. Being alone was what she did best, and man did she do it well.

Eventually things became too hard, she was breaking; more than she had ever before.

Then something happened. She met him and they were instantly hooked. He kissed her scars and dried her tears. Slowly he started to save her. He pulled her away from the devil inside of her. It was a fight, one that he didn’t know he could help her win, but he did.

The woman I have become is fearless and ambitious.

She had found herself somewhere between recovery and the will to conquer.

To conquer herself was what she had been waiting for. To have the strength to not give in, to no longer dance with the devil.

Her pain replaced with hope. Knowing that even the pain she feels now, can be overcome.

She loves herself now, even when she’s at her worst. The want to succeed has beaten the want to give up.

The woman I have become now looks forward to the future, her goals and achievements overwhelm her with pride.

She is exactly who she is supposed to be. She is happy.


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